Things to keep in mind when you ask her out

Women are sticklers for remembering ‘perfect’ moments and stuff like thefirst date,

the way the guy asked her out, what he spoke about during the first date, the way he looked at her will be etched in their memory forever. To use a cliché, first impression is the last impression and it is the one that lasts the longest. So don’t simply walk up to a girl and ask her out like you’d ask your buddy for beer; do it with elegance and like a gentleman. But before you ask a lady out, you need to keep certain things in mind. What follows is a concise list that you need to check before you proceed to ask her out.
1. Be polite / Ask, don’t tell

You need to have a soft / polite tone when you ask a girl out. Please avoid sounding cocky; an overtly aggressive and brashly confident tone will not only ensure that you come across as a git but it will lower your chances considerably. Also don’t tell her she needs to go out on a date with you, ask her if she’d like to accompany a gentleman like you on a date. Using the right words and using them in a dignified manner will get you that first date.
2. Don’t over-promise

In a bid to get her to go out with you, don’t make the common error of over-promising and exaggerating through the roof. It is good to boast and build expectations, but it issuicidal to raise her hopes and then under deliver.
3. Keep her schedule & likes/dislikes in mind

While you may think that Saturday night is perfect date night, ensure that she has no other plans that evening and would be interested in going out during the weekend. Be sensitive to her likes / dislikes and suggest a venue that she would feel comfortable in and enjoy. Try finding a venue that has a soothing ambiance; one which allows you to wine and dine in style & at ease.
4. Need for Secrecy

Not all women like the world to know that they are going on a date. So be sensitive to her need for privacy and don’t brag to the world about landing a date with a beautiful lady. This display of immaturity will turn her off and she in turn might just call the date off.

Tips to Lose Weight Naturally

Weight loss remains a major health issue for many of us despite the onslaught of weight loss tips and medical aids that surround us.

Most of the contemporary solutions border on providing unrealistic weight loss solutions or are too time-consuming. Drastic dieting is never recommended since it can leave you malnourished and damage your body in an unredeemable manner. In order to lose weight naturally, i.e. without using any magic pill or gymming like a maniac, use the following tips:
Consider Whole Grains As Your Friends

Try to eat a larger concentration of foods made from whole grains (rotis, whole wheat breads, cookies and oatmeal) rather than refined or processed foods. Whole grains are more complex for the body to metabolize, taking a longer digestion route. This keeps the body busy for a longer period, ensuring that energy is released throughout the day. This helps to decrease the frequency and intensity of hunger pangs, particularly the sugar cravings.
Psychological Preparedness

Don’t be shy about your weight loss goals. In fact, use the people around you to your advantage. Announce it amongst your friends and family that they should thwart you every time you are headed for a bit piece of creamy cake or a cheese-loaded pizza.


Know Your Food

You need to be more alert when picking up packaged food items. Remember that non-saturated fats and essential fatty acids are the good kind of fats that your body needs for its basic functions. Food items bearing labels of low-fat or low-sugar might not necessarily contain lesser calories. Instead, try to make smarter substitutions. For instance, you can choose eggless baked items and juices without sugar.
Use Water As A Weight Loss Tool

Try to drink water every time you get hungry or you are about to have a meal, i.e. just before a major meal like a lunch or dinner. This is a simple and effective way of instantly quenching your hunger to a certain extent. More water also raises the metabolic rate or the rate at which the body uses calories, meaning you are losing more calories per hour.


Manipulate Yourself To Reduce Food Intake

Try to eat slowly, breaking your food into more bites. This will ensure that you derive more pleasure out of each bite, allowing each morsel to provide more satiety, ensuring your calorie intake at the dining table remain limited. Rather than taking single, big servings, try to take numerous small servings. This helps to establish the perception that you have been serving yourself repeatedly and also makes you more conscious about the amount of food you are about to consume.
Use Fiber To Your Advantage

Try to include more fiber in your diet. This should include soluble and insoluble fiber for ensuring that the digested food in your intestines absorbs more water. This in turn ensures that the feeling of being full is achieved quicker. Insoluble fiber is found in leafy salads that also help you limit your food intake naturally. This is because the raw state of most salad ingredients means that you need to chew a lot more. The extra chewing and salivating that accompanies it helps to control the hunger pangs for a few hours.
Overcome Your Snacking Habits

Snacking is perhaps the biggest sin a dieter can commit. To ensure that you stay away from the urge to bite into a chocolate or cookie, keep your mouth busy with sugar-free chewing gum. Try to sip iced or hot herbal teas prepared with minimal amount of sugar throughout the day. These are low cal aids that help to establish the feeling of feeding yourself without consuming too many calories, preventing the urge to snack.
Keep Away From Salt

Salt is responsible for retention of water within the large intestine. Further, salt tends to keep our blood pressure high, making us more prone to sweating. These factors raise our thirst and the tendency to consume beverages, including teas and colas, which contain sugar.


Burn Your Sugars

If you cannot do without your daily intake of sweet or sugar-concentrated items, try to snack upon them during the morning hours. This ensures that the body will be using the calories extracted from your favorite milkshake throughout the day, reducing the number of calories stored as fat.
Exercise Easily

You don’t need to take upon heavy gym routines to exercise your problem areas. For instance, climbing up and down the stairs is one of the easiest, most accessible types of cardiovascular exercise that works-out your hips, legs and thighs beautifully. Combine this with undemanding calorie-burners like brisk walks, walking to the nearby market, walking when talking on your mobile and taking upon more household chores.
Weight Loss Precautions You Shouldn’t Ignore

Maintaining your body frame is vital at the time of losing weight. Weight loss often causes loss of vital protein, weakening the muscles that are necessary to maintain the elasticity of our tissues. To ensure that you don’t lose too much of your lean muscle mass, ensure you consume egg whites on a daily basis. Avoid the yolk since it contains a high amount of cholesterol.

10 Things Not to do on a First Date

As an old saying goes, "first impression is the last impression".

One has to subscribe to this saying when going on a first date. Here are 10 things you should absolutely avoid doing on a first date.
1. Be a braggadocio



A braggadocio is a person who boasts about his own deeds irrespective of the response from the other person. Such kinds of empty pretentious bragging can be an anti-climax. So, avoid boasting about yourself in a bid to leave a pleasant impression on your date.


2. Mention past relationships



Broaching the subject of a past relationship could prove to be a speed breaker in your rendezvous. You will get ample of time to talk about the past. You needs to realize that the girl wants to move over her past. Don't be a victim of the circumstances instead be a master of it. After all nobody wants to spend his/her first date wiping tears.


3. Eat like a glutton



This means: do not end up going on a date when you are ravenously hungry. The objective of a date is to have a pleasant conversation. Eating is an excuse for the date. It is embarrassing and awkward to talk while eating. It is better if you adhere to one activity at a time.
4. Act nervous



This could be a tough task; it is crucial to realize that women like confident men. Assertiveness will help you score some brownie points on a first date. An amalgamation of confidence and sense of humour is an ideal recipe for a nice date.
5. Money can't buy love!



Talking about money will project your image as selfish and self centered who equates everything in terms of money. It can paint your image as someone who is deficient of emotions. This could affect the equilibrium of a relationship in the long run as your show-off may appear condescending.
6. Fiddle with your phone




There are two reasons for this. Talking or texting on the phone can be a hindrance on your first date. It will neutralize the essence of the date. Second reason is that flaunting your phone may not help win her heart. It is advisable to keep the phone on silent mode because one needs to give exclusive attention to the partner.


7. No Touching!



Only seeing

 If you get too close to your first date, there are chances that your first date will unequivocally be the last. A woman can determine the intentions of the partner from his touch. Thus, a date does not give the license to touch her figure but to touch her soul.


8. Smoking





Smoking is one of the most overlooked aspects which could annoy your date. Smoking can affect the gravity of your conversation. It is advisable not to smoke prior to a date as black finger nails and a smelly mouth can be a deal breaker.


9. Compare



A woman hates comparison with the other person. It is crucial to acquiesce that every woman has an identity and you should give due respect to it. Any comparisons to another person can be troublesome.


10. Lie




Honesty is the quintessential part of any relationship. Do not base the beginning of what can be a potential relationship on a falsehood since such relationships will be feeble and may not last long.

Top 10 Things You Should Never Tell Your Girlfriend

So, you have won the girlfriend you always dreamt about but do you know what you should be doing and more importantly,

not saying to sustain this relationship? If not, take some clues from here:
1. Preaching Her Not To Get Emotional



Apart from a few exceptions, women continue to be the most emotional of all the genders. Periodic and inexplicable bouts of crying, getting teary-eyed over seemingly regular conversations or becoming explicitly possessive about your whereabouts is perhaps coded in the female DNA. The worst thing you can say during such situations is preaching her “not to get too emotional”. This is almost parallel to asking women not to talk that is simply against the rules of human evolution!
2. Talking About How Much Money You “Really” Have & How You Handle It

Okay, you are dating the self-driven, contemporary woman who likes to spend even when you two are together but sometimes it is wiser to guard your own interest. Agreed, that being and acting rich gives you a sense of self-worthiness but this doesn’t mean you have to be absolutely honest with how much money you have at your disposal. Ensure that you don’t divulge details about how you spend money on your friends or hobbies. Don’t brag about your savings or how much money you are about to inherit. When it comes to financials, keep it simple—she doesn’t need to know where it came from and how much more is coming your way.
3. Relating Her Behavior To Her Hormonal Cycles

Asking your girlfriend whether she is PMS(ing) or if it is that time of the month again and suggesting this as the reason behind her irritable behavior can make you look insensitive or inconsiderate. Menstruation puts forth so many confusing symptoms that even some women don’t realize that they are already into their next cycle. So, it is better to refrain from giving wings to the budding doctor inside you and keep your mouth shut even when it is plainly obvious.
4. Asking About Her Sexual Past Doesn’t Help Anybody



Yes, everybody thinks about it, i.e. the kind of sexual experiences your partner has had. However, you need to question yourself—how does this information really help?

Apart from making you mad with jealousy or making her extremely uncomfortable, such questions don’t solve any purpose.
5. Commenting About Her Make-Up Free Look Just Isn't Cool Buddy



The first few dates are bound to bring out the best in her in terms of how she presents herself. However, you cannot expect her to be the picture of absolute perfection on every occasion. She is bound to show-up in her casual, normal attire where the missing make-up is likely to make her appear a bit less gorgeous. Accept this as a part of your relationship. Even if you don’t like it, never comment about it—it will only make you look shallow.
6. Suggesting Couple Activities That You Are Not Likely To Follow

Suggesting things like dieting or exercising together might seem fun at the outset and the “couple” thing to do but such commitments can soon become a burden. Apart from members of the extreme metro-sexual clan, women still emerge as clear winners when it comes to following self-improvement schedules. You might commit to such activities with the thought of exploring how things develop but your girlfriend might already be counting upon your dedication towards it. Unless, it becomes absolute unavoidable, abstain from such emotional obligations.
7. Asking About Her Self-Pleasuring Indulgences

As guys, we do it commonly and discuss it among ourselves with absolutely no hesitation. However, the scenario isn't as liberating in the female domain and that includes your girlfriend. Asking about whether she indulges in pleasuring herself or the frequency of “it” can make the entire conversation go awry apart from making her feel embarrassed or tongue-tied. Unless you feel this topic emerging as a natural outcome of a situation or a conversation, stay away from it.
8. Talking in Detail About Your Relationships



Many men have committed the eternal sin of detailing their past love lives, the kind of women they dated and how their past relationships worked or failed. Yes, you do need to talk about your romantic liaisons but this doesn’t mean detailing it to the extent that your girlfriend can start noticing dating or break-up patterns. The idea is to allow her to know your past but not providing so much information that she can dissect your psyche.
9. Discriminating Her Outfits or Hairstyle

No matter how progressive your girl is, her hair and her choice of clothes are bound to be two things that she will obsess about—these typical feminine traits had probably started during the Neanderthal Age and they still exist. Your opinion is valid in itself but never let it become a critical observation. Restrain the enthusiastic critique in you and it will probably save you at least a dozen ugly arguments.
10. Making Comparisons That Are Sure To Drive Her Nuts

There are some comparisons that can literally drive women crazy. This includes her mother, your mother, your ex, her sister and her best friend. If you feel like comparing here to someone, pick a character from a TV series or a movie, at least that doesn’t endanger your physical well-being!

Smart Dressing Tips for Shorter Men

Dressing according to your body type is key to your comfort and style.

It is important that your clothes fit flawlessly. Whatever the body type, your best features need to be highlighted but do not overdone. Below are a few tips for men with a shorter frame.

• Styles and look

Short men should choose a style that helps add visual length and cut width. Two-buttoned single-breasted and also three-buttoned single-breasted suits works best and give a neat line and length. Jackets and blazers should fall slightly below the bottoms. Too short a length will cut the body in half while too long will make the legs appear shorter than they actually are. Avoid wide lapels and pocket flaps.

Avoid wearing suspenders. Wear trousers on natural waist with tapering at the bottom. It is best if you go for a straight cut. Flat front trousers are in. If pleated, then single pleat gives a leaner look.

Shorter men should wear the smallest rise in their trousers. This will elongate the legs and will avoid making the crotch and bottom look baggy and empty. V-neck silhouettes elongate the torso. Button down and regular collars work best on this body type. Overall, opt for clothes which are trim rather than baggy.

• Patterns, colors and fabrics

Wear one bold color. A stark contrast between the top and bottom can cut the figure in half. Dark colors tend to have a slimming effect. Thicker and heavy pattern do not suit the shorter body types.

Avoid large and clustered patterns. Choose smaller and neat prints. Self color motifs work fine. Vertical stripes add good amount of height to the body. Avoid anything that gives a horizontal effect. Light and medium weight fabrics work the best. Starched outfits appear to add weight to the body. Fabrics with good fall are best suited.

• Accessories

Slim tie will suit a diminutive body. A small sized pattern on tie looks good. Ties should reach the belt buckle to avoid a gap. A smaller knot for the tie works better than the wider one. Opt for square-toed shoes as pointy ones will not work well for a person of shorter height. You can also opt for slight heels for an added height.

• Simple yet overlooked tips

Short hair works best for shorter men as long hair tends to hide the neck and shoulders making them look one part of the body. Maintaining a good posture also plays a key role in making you look taller than you really are. 

Natural Ways to Fight Depression

A depressive or anxious mindset continues to be one of the most common psychological ailments.

People seem hesitant to seek help, afraid that taking psychotic drugs or counseling will make them look ridiculous. If you are one of such folks, reading about natural ways of defeating depressionmight prove rather useful. Others, who don’t have a severe problem of depression but suffer from phases of low mood too can benefit from the following advice:

Exercise Regularly

Exercising regularly is perhaps the best, daily activity you can indulge in to ensure better mood. Researchers across the world have confirmed that you don’t need to be a gym-junkie or into hardcoreweight training to feel the benefits of exercising. Just take upon any kind of physical activity that gets your heart pumping and makes you sweat. This includes running, jogging and a bit of stretching. If you can combine some bit of light-weight training, it is even better but not imperative. Exercise has a direct impact on our mood. It makes the body secrete more endorphins. These biochemicals are responsible for inducing a feeling of goodness that sustains for many hours after exercising. You should exercise for more than 30 minutes to use exercising as an anti-depression tool.

Make Small Dietary Changes

You can make small dietary changes to fight off depression. Ensure that you get your daily quota of vitamins, particularly folic acid and other types of vitamin Bs. For this, regularly indulge in green leafy veggies, bright-colored fruits, potatoes and dairy products like yogurt and cottage cheese. These vitamins are essential for synthesis and release of mood-lifting chemicals within the brain. Vitamin B12 is required for the overall regulation of our nervous system. Combine this with some source of essential fatty acids. This includes flax and mustard seeds. Omega 3 fatty acids are required for release of mood boosters like Serotonin and Dopamine. Thus, increase your intake of walnuts, soybeans, fish and tofu.

Get Sufficient Sleep

All of us suffer from phases of troubled sleep. When this problem starts to surface regularly, it becomes an underlying cause of depression. Lack of good sleep causes irritation. It reduces your ability to handle low mood swings. Trying to catch a nap and staying-up late at night watching TV further reduce the quality of night sleep. Ensure that you get at least seven hours of peaceful sleep each night. Lack of sleep disturbs the body clock, and can push you towards chronic depression.

Take Psychological & Physical Breaks

Boredom and a mundane lifestyle are among the more common causes of depression. Even if you don’t have something really exciting to do, seek regular breaks. Here, a break refers to something that engages your mind and body. This ensures that you are holistically disengaged from your anxiety or depressive way of thinking. For instance, going shopping to the local market, playing a game of soccer outdoors, playing snooker or bowling indoors or washing your car occupy your mental and physical faculties. Try talking more among your friends and family to ensure your mind is engaged in healthy conversations or arguments that help you get rid of feelings of anguish or frustration.

Develop Better Lifestyle Habits

Some seemingly minor factors contribute to depression in a big way. For instance, lack of exposure to sunlight causes Vitamin D deficiency. This vitamin is essential for better mental health. Similarly, people on low-fat diets don’t understand that a basic amount of cholesterol is required for the synthesis of serotonin. Without this neurotransmitter, we cannot sustain that good/happy feeling. This makes us more prone to being anxious. Thus, extreme dieting should always be avoided.

Avoid Hypoglycemia

Hypoglycemia is a condition of lack of sufficient sugar in our bloodstream. This is often found among people who tend to fast for long periods, between meals. Phases of Hypoglycemia aren't good for your mental health. This impairs the release of serotonin. Hypoglycemia is often found among people who tend to consume too much of refined sugars. Such sugars are highly processed and get immediately absorbed into the bloodstream. This causes a surge in the blood sugar levels, inducing a feeling of goodness. However, the surge is soon followed by a sudden fall in sugar levels as refined sugar is metabolized quickly. Thus, a few minutes after eating a sugar-loaded candy, you might suffer from a short phase of Hypoglycemia. These wide fluctuations in blood sugar levels cause a spike in the release of stress hormones like cortisone and adrenalin, making us more prone to nervousness and anxiety. Thus, eat regular intervals but stay away from snacking on processed, sweet foods.

Those who killed themselves this year

With suicide rates hitting the roof in medical and technical institutes, here's a round up of the list this year.

Name: G. Varalakshmi ( 18) of Vignan Engineering College, Hyderabad
When: January 30, 2011
A first year BTech student of Hayathnagar ( a sub- urban town of AP), Varalakshmi succumbed to burn injuries. Unable to bear the harassment by the college management for not being able to pay tuition fee, she committed suicide. The delay was caused by the state government not granting fee reimbursement.

Name: Manish Kumar ( 20) of IIT Roorkee
When: February 6, 2011
His death was IIT Roorkee’s first suicide. A second year student from Muzaffarnagar, Manish jumped off the fifth floor of his hostel. Kumar’s family alleged that he took killed himself after a few senior students made “ casteist” remarks about him.

Name: Linesh Mohan Gawle of National Institute of Immunology, Delhi
When: April 16, 2011
Linesh Mohan Gawle, a PhD student committed suicide in his hostel room. He came from a poor Dalit family who lived in Dindori tehsil near Jabalpur, Madhya Pradesh. Reasons for his suicide remain unknown.

Most suicide cases are reported in technical and medical institutes. Is stress and pressure from friends and parents too much to tackle? What could be done to stop this?

Should you have sex with friends?

While friends with benefits (FWB) may sound convenient, tread carefully in these torrid waters. Read the complete manual on FWB, along with the risks involved.

Meet the new-age Indian woman. She's sexy as hell. She's smart. She pays her own bills. And she wants to have sex with you. Just sex, no strings attached. What's the catch? She's a friend. 'As long as she's not related to me, how does it matter?' you think. Because when it comes to sex and relationships, we end up colouring outside the lines anyway. So unfolds a new pact between Venus and Mars: Friends with Benefits.

Yes, if you're bored. You've been playing lap dog for more tears and less sex and even then it's the same monotonous missionary with the same girl. Your balls are tied up on a short leash while mini-skirted beauties pass you by. 'Nuff said. Maybe, if you're drained out.

You're in control.
A rebound's aim is to distract. "If you're fresh out of a relationship, you're looking to numb yourself from the pain," says Indore-based sexologist Dr Mahesh Nawal, MBBS, ACST. "You shouldn't expect the same emotional security you once received. For that matter, you shouldn't have any expectations apart from great chemistry."

Your needs match...
Joanna Grover, 21 was coerced into a relationship for six months by her ex, "because he'd convinced himself that sleeping together would give a shot at a relationship-but he forgot to ask me if I had the same feelings or not." A lot of women and men sleep with their friends in the hope that it will eventually lead to a relationship, says Bhalla.
A US study found that depressed single women were more likely to have more casual sex than happier singles. Depressed people, especially 'women seek out sexual intimacy to make themselves feel more secure,' says Sabura Allen, a clinical psychologist.

You are both horny..
Sex is no longer a dirty crime committed before marriage. When you need it, you need it. It doesn't justify paying for a hooker, which anyway ups your risk of STDs (you still have some self-respect.) "But if she's comfortable with you and vice versa," why shouldn't you give in to your bodily needs?" says Dr Nawal. Practice safe sex-people assume that because this is their friend, they can trust that he or she will not have any disease and therefore may not feel as compelled to practice safe sex, says Justin Lehmiller, a US-based psychologist. What's more 'friends with benefits' are 44 per cent more likely to be polygamous than people who first have sex as committed partners, he adds.

But beware...

You might get attached.

The same US study reported that only 10 per cent of such relationships evolve into romantic ones and more than half developed feelings for their partners at some point in the relationship. And just so you know, it's not only the women. "It's not a free breakfast-ultimately, when your feelings are not reciprocated, the relationship turns sour and you run the risk of ruining a good friendship as well,"

You're wasting money..

It's typically acceptable to go Dutch or take turns to pick dinner tabs when you're friends, but the minute you're in an FWB relationship, things change. Technically you're not dating, so should you be footing the bills for her maintenance? "Chivalry's still not dead, so women would still expect you to pay most of the time, but stop to consider if you're paying for everything!" says Dr Samir Parikh, HOD, mental health and behavioural sciences, Max Healthcare, New Delhi. Hint: When she expects you to fuel her car up every time or get her salon bills.

You can't stay alone..

"If you end up sleeping with the same friend between relationships, you're weakening yourself mentally," quips Dr Nawal. You don't have the propensity to survive on your own. "If she's still waiting for you, then she's clearly more emotionally involved, which is not something you want to face," he says. Nobody wants a whining Siamese twin in an emotionally detached relationship, after all. It'll kill the chemistry and show you as a desperate wannabe who's using her.

You are missing out..

It's like being caught in limbo-both of you are elevated above the position of friends, yet you haven't gained the priority of that 'special someone'. "It's harder for Indian men and women to talk, meet and date strangers-our society just doesn't function as fast as the West," says Dr Nawal. So when you've already found someone, you're cutting into your already limited chances of running into the perfect woman. And when either of you do, the other person loses a bit of that pedestal he or she's been placed on, making them resentful. "Everybody likes a fair amount of attention," says Dr Parikh. "When it's taken away or given to someone else, questions are bound to pop up and invariably you end up being the guilty party."

So, when should you call it quits?..

When the dreaded question arises, "So, where are we?" And if you think, this doesn't happen in an FWB relationship, you're misinformed. "It'll either manifest itself in your head or be brought up by her eventually," says Bhalla. In a US study, more than half the respondents involved in FWB relationships indicated they were consistently asking themselves what kind of a relationship they were in, such as how to make sense of it. Yet, 84 per cent of them didn't initiate any discussion because they felt awkward talking about it, or feared losing a friend, 73 per cent didn't talk about ground rules and only nine per cent could muster up the courage to bring up the topic as jokes. "The topic can be mentally draining, especially when asked by the other party," says Dr Nawal. But if her questions aren't bothering you or messing with your erection: Congratulations pal. You're both well on your way into a relationship.

Anger never lets you win

As a little kid growing up on a sheep farm near Christchurch, New Zealand, Martin was a bright, hardworking boy, prone to losing his temper and getting angry. He would end up saying harsh words to his friends and family without often realising the impact of his angry outbursts.

Intent on mending his son’s ways, Martin’s dad decided on a plan. He gave his son a sack of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the wooden fence at the back of their farm. The son agreed. The first day, he hammered 35 nails into the fence. As the days passed, the number of nails hammered into the fence gradually decreased. It was quite a task going all the way to the back of the farm and hammering a nail. Young Martin figured it was easier to just control his temper, and not get angry.

And then, one day, he did not lose his cool at all. A day of no nails! Delighted, he told his father about it. And the father said that for every day that Martin did not lose his temper, he should pull out a nail from the fence. Martin did as told, and some months later, all the nails in the fence had been removed. Martin was pleased. And so was his dad.

The father led young Martin to the back of the farm and pointing to the wooden fence he said “You have done well, my son and I am proud of you. But notice the holes left behind by the nails? They will never go away. The fence will never be the same again. It’s like that with our anger too. When we are angry, we say things that leave a scar. And no amount of apologizing thereafter can ever remove those scars. Remember that!”

It’s a lesson Martin has remembered all his life. And it’s a lesson we would all do well to take to heart too. Keep your cool. Don’t lose your temper. And you will see a significant improvement in your relationships. People will like you more, they will respect you a lot more – and you will find that hardly anybody gets angry with you. If you find yourself losing your cool often, maybe you should set yourself a punishment equivalent to hammering nails on the fence. Like Martin, you too might then find yourself controlling your temper a lot better. Good to remember that you can never really win when you get angry. You always lose -your temper, your cool and a whole lot else besides.

Saying ‘Sorry’ is like using one of those erasers on the top of a pencil. It’s easy to use, it feels like you have erased what was written, but the marks remain on the sheet of paper forever. And in this era of instant messaging and on-the-go e-mails, it becomes even more important to watch your words. If you are upset and want to shoot off an angry e-mail or message, hold it! Draft a mail perhaps – but leave it as a draft. Don’t hit the ‘send’ button whilst you are angry. Tell yourself that you will take a look at it the next morning, and only then send it. Chances are, with a cooler head the next morning, you will realise the folly of sending out the angry email. And it does not matter that you are in the right, or that you think your anger is justified. If you lose your cool, remember, you lose. Period.

Next time you are angry and want to say something, take a deep breath. Pause. And maybe say nothing at all.

Starting today, resolve to keep your cool. Watch what you say. And see the difference!

Prakash Iyer is MD, Kimberly-Clark Lever and Executive Coach. For more inspiring life lessons, read Mr Iyer's new book The Habit of Winning.

World's oldest-living conjoined twins

 The world's oldest living conjoined twins have defied doctors' predictions and are set to celebrate their 50th birthday this Sunday.

George and Lori Schappell, who are joined at the head, are marking the landmark birthday with a trip to London.

Remarkably, the Siamese twins are able to live very different and separate lives, with Lori having had relationships and George - who was originally named Dori - deciding to live life as a man.

Lori is also a champion ten-pin bowler and George performs as a country and western singer.

Click on photo to view slideshow

"When we were born, the doctors didn't think we'd make 30, but we proved them wrong," the Daily Mail quoted Lori as saying.

"We have learned so much in the last 50 years and will continue living life to the full," she added.

While Lori, who is 5ft 1in, was born able-bodied, 4ft 4in George suffers from spina bifida, which has caused severe mobility problems.

The twins, from Pennsylvania in America, were born sharing 30 per cent of their frontal lobe brain tissue and critical blood vessels, meaning they cannot be separated. 

Are you being Cheated?

According to new research published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour your man may look elsewhere if he has issues in the bedroom. Great! As if things weren’t bad enough. In the study almost a quarter of men (23.2%) admitted they had cheated during their current relationship. Naughty, naughty boys!
Professor Robin Milhausen said: “Those who have any number of sexual concerns are more likely to be unfaithful. What we’ve interpreted from this is that people with problems in the bedroom, where their issues can become a self-fulfilling prophecy are more likely to look outside their relationship.

Do you have a happy, fulfilling relationship but your bloke has a little bit of trouble in between the sheets? If the answer is yes then be warned – he may be more likely to cheat!

“Being with a new partner is risky and exciting, and might help someone increase their arousal enough to avoid sexual problems.”

Are you worried about this? Does your man have a wandering eye? Does he struggle in the satisfaction department? If the answer is yes, read on to discover what psychologist and sex and relationship expert Donna Dawson thinks about why men cheat.The opportunist:

We all know this guy! He’s the Mark Wright of the cheating world. It’s not about your relationship or even you for that matter, it’s about him being in the right place at the right time. If he’s always out getting drunk with his mates all the time then be wary, he could be playing away.The infatuation junkie

You know the feeling you get when you spot someone you fancy, the chemical high and the butterflies? Well this guy loves those feeling and is more likely to cheat when he meets someone new and exciting.

The affair of ego massage

How predictable – this is the guy who just wants to know he’s still got ‘it’ and he’s still attractive. This bloke is most likely in a long-term, stable relationship but he’s eager to recapture his youth.

The affair of protest

If your relationship is a bit rocky or you haven’t got enough time for one another then your boyfriend might be out finding someone to provide what you’re not giving. He may drop hints as a cry for help – keep an eye out for lipstick on the collar ladies.

The serious affair

This is the one to watch. This man is prepared to give up anything for his new love and he doesn’t care if he gets caught.

The CEO who got fired from his first job

Talk of computers the first thing that strikes anyone today is 'Apple'. Know the success story of the brain behind this massive player.

Inspiring excerpts from the commencement speech by Steve Jobs, at Standord University on June 12, 2005.

Truth be told, I never graduated from college, and this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today, I want to tell you three stories from my life.

Best decisions I ever made

The first story is about connecting the dots. I ped out of Reed College after the first six months. Why? Well, it started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption.

She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, but my biological mother found out later that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would go to college.

This was the start in my life. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. So I decided to out. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms. I returned coke bottles for the five cent deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the seven miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on.

Let me give you one example: I decided to take a calligraphy class at Reed College and learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. If I had never ped out, I would have never ped in on that calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.

Love and Loss

My second story is about love and loss. Woz (Steve Wozniak) and I started Apple in my parents' garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown into a two billion dollar company with over 4,000 employees. We'd just released our finest creation the Macintosh a year earlier, and then I got fired.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down. I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me: I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit and I decided to start over.

The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, and I retuned to Apple. I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple.

I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

If today were the last day of life

My third story is about death. When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: 'If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.' It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I've looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'No' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I will be dead soon is the most important tool I have ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors told me this was incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for 'prepare to die.' I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, and was told that it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and, thankfully, I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: No one wants to die. Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalogue created by a fellow named Stewart Brand and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: 'Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.' It was their farewell message.

And I've always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Want to reduce your belly fat

Are you tired of having belly fat? Now, eat two small apples, one cup of green peas and one-half cup of pinto beans and exercise vigorously for 30 minutes, two to four times a week.

cording to the researchers at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center, vegetables, fruit and beans contain more soluble fiber and will help reduce visceral fat, or belly fat, around the midsection.

They found that for every 10-gram increase in soluble fiber eaten per day, visceral fat was reduced by 3.7 percent over five years. In addition, increased moderate activity resulted in a 7.4 percent decrease in the rate of visceral fat accumulation over the same time period.

"We know that a higher rate of visceral fat is associated with high blood pressure, diabetes and fatty liver disease," said Kristen Hairston, assistant professor of internal medicine at Wake Forest Baptist and lead researcher on the study.
"Our study found that making a few simple changes can have a big health impact," he added.
The researchers examined whether lifestyle factors, such as diet and frequency of exercise, were associated with a five-year change in abdominal fat of African Americans and Hispanic Americans.
At the beginning of the study, which involved 1,114 people, the participants were given a physical exam, an extensive questionnaire on lifestyle issues, and a CT scan. Five years later, the exact same process was repeated.
The researchers found that increased soluble fiber intake was associated with a decreased rate of accumulated visceral fat, but not subcutaneous fat.
"There is mounting evidence that eating more soluble fiber and increasing exercise reduces visceral or belly fat, although we still don't know how it works

The amazing things yoga can do to you

“What yoga can do for me” is a question this is increasingly popping up in the minds of the people.

One way yoga can be defined is “as a series of exercises that are meant to promote control of one's body and mind”. These exercises are based on a Hindu school of thought that is focused on training a person's consciousness for a period of ideal spiritual tranquility and insight.

If done properly, yoga can do wonders for your body and mind. Some if its biggest benefits are: increased blood circulation, stress alleviation, removal of toxins, energizing the body, and promoting sleep.

Let's discuss these benefits in some detail:

1. To begin with, yoga exercises increase the circulation of blood in a person's body which is crucial for proper functioning of the body. Increased blood circulation works as a natural energy booster for people who feel drained out and tired all the time. So stop guzzling those bottles of Gatorades and try some yoga.

2. Toxins are poisonous substances within living cells and organisms and yoga can come to your rescue when it comes to them. With every single movement, some toxins are removed from the body. Yoga also helps drain the lymph nodes, which allows blood to flow properly and the body to function as it should.

3. Actually, the removal of toxins is associated with how the exercise alleviates stress. In fast-paced times of today, people are more stressed out than ever. Balance, focus, patience, and tranquility have been cited as the end results of practicing yoga movements on a consistent basis. Yoga enables the practitioner to focus on the moment instead of the future. This allows a person to let go of his worriesand just remain in the present.

4. Yoga is great energizer. If you practice yoga properly in an organised setting, you'll be happy to give up caffeine for your energy needs. Not only do yoga movements provide energy, they also lift one's spirit, provide energy, and motivate a person to be more happy. You feel you have an incentive in life for doing things. A practitioner will either be taken to a tranquil state or he will be re-energized.

5. Yoga is a great way to get your sleeping habits right. These days, almost every other “urban” person suffers from some sort of sleeping disorder or the other. Yoga relaxes the body and mind; it can bring about a tranquil state. It should be practiced thirty minutes prior to one's bedtime in order to achieve maximum results. 

Practice Yoga to reduce stress

Strike these poses for a calmer and happier you.

Hypertension is not just common, in a strange twisted way it's a status symbol. It shows you have arrived, are busy and lead a stressed life. However, it takes a toll on your heart, spikes your blood sugar and insulin levels and that's bad news.

Recent studies show that yoga brings about a balance in your autonomous nervous system and regulates your blood pressure by stabilising your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system.

As a yoga practitioner, I have experienced the calming effect that this alternative therapy can provide. Being static, yoga postures are less demanding and require less oxygen. This causes minimal strain during exercise and keeps your muscles relaxed. Here are a few postures that you can practise to keep your stress levels under control.

Vajrasana
Sit with your legs extended, hands by the side of your body and palms resting on the floor. Bend your right leg at the knee and place your foot under the right buttock keeping your soles tucked in. Do the same with your left leg. Rest your hands on your thighs, keeping your back straight. Hold for some time, come back to the starting position.

GomukhasanaSit on the floor stretching your legs forward. Slightly bend both your knees and place your left leg under your right thigh. Take your right leg over your left leg, making sure your left knee is under the right one. Now take your right hand behind your back with your palm facing downwards and place your left hand behind. Try clutching your palms together, making sure your back is straight and aligned with your neck. Hold for some time and come back to the starting position.

Ardha shalabhasana
Lie in prone position (on your stomach), bring your legs together, toes pointing outward, hands by your body, fists closed and chin on the floor. Then slowly raise your right leg without bending at the knee, do not tilt the pelvis. Hold for some time and come back to the starting position. Switch sides and repeat.

Padmasana
Sit on the floor, stretch your legs and place palms along the side of the body. Now hold the sole of the right foot and place it on the left thigh. Take the left foot over the right. Keeping your back straight, place your palms on the knees and slowly close eyes, focussing on your breath. Hold for some time and slowly come back to the starting position.

Anulom-vilom pranayama
Sit straight and close your right nostril with your right thumb and inhale from the left nostril. Then close your left nostril with your right index and middle fingers and exhale from the right nostril. Now do the reverse. Inhale with the right nostril, close your right nostril with your right thumb then exhale with the left. This forms one round of anulom-vilom pranayama.

Made it possible...The treadsetter

Woodland has not just carved a niche for itself in the shoe and apparel sector. Know what this massive player does beyond foot wear and clothes?

It's a successful shoe and apparel empire. Woodland is also helping 8000 families in Chandrapur, Maharashtra, get safe drinking water everyday.


Treading North

Since my childhood I have been a creative and adventure-loving person. Even as a child I believed in perfection and it helped me become what I am today. Academically, I was an average student but I had a flair for learning more. And because I have been involved with the family business since childhood, I knew what I wanted.

Furthermore, my passion for adventure sports reflects in the brand philosophy. We used to go for long treks where I developed a fascination for adventure sports. So in order to give students what we couldn't have, I am trying to inculcate the adventure lifestyle for school students. Our first initiative will be with Modern School, Delhi, where we are creating an adventure zone.

How it began

The brand Woodland is owned by Aero Group, the flagship company which began its operations in 1960's and now has an asset base of over US$100 million. Woodland was started in Quebec, Canada, for making winter boots and entered India in 1992. It was one of the brands that we launched in India from the vast portfolio of Aero Group.

When we entered India, the footwear market was largely unorganised. Woodland created a new category of specialised 'outdoor sports' shoes. Our product positioning was different and we were known as a rugged, outdoor leather shoe brand, the kind usually preferred by adventurists. Youngsters took a fancy to our shoes. That was in the beginning and we gradually developed a product line especially for India.

On the job

Being an outgoing person, I wanted to establish something related to the field of adventure. I faced a lot of difficulties in the initial years because of wrong adventure gear and it was a challenge to get the right gear in India. I used to pick up adventure sports apparel, footwear and accessories whenever I travelled abroad.

After completing my education, I started working with my father and created the brand Woodland. Our logo is a tree which in itself speaks about our connect with nature. After it was established, we created Proplanet, our corporate social responsibility (CSR) wing and have been working closely with nature-friendly ideas since.

Eco-friendly My main focus has been to bring to everybody's doorstep; quality and ecofriendly products. We use raw materials which are less harmful to the environment. Our main focus has been on materials like organic cotton, specialised fabrics for adventure sports.

Customer connect

Commercial success is necessary but customer satisfaction matters more. Today, when I see a person wearing a Woodland product, I feel very proud. Woodlanders are known for their spirit and enthusiasm. Our products and processes speak for itself. Today we have one lakh plus fans on Facebook who constantly give us there feedback. A lot of them also upload their pictures sporting the brand and various adventure events.

A social server

Very recently, Woodland under its CSR wing Proplanet, tied up in a four month long association with the United Nations agency United Nations Children's Fund to promote their WASH campaign which aims to provide safe drinking water to 8000 families in the Chandrapur district of Maharashtra.

We are reaching out to our wide customer base to contribute Rs 10 to the cause against every purchase they make. Besides this, we look to partner with entities that environmentally committed, eliminate toxic and hazardous substances from products, minimise resource wastage, disclose their environmental footprint, and take responsibility for proper waste management.

Tips for success

Clarity: To know what you want personally and professionally, question your resolution and clarify.

Exploration: In order to learn, one must experiment. Try to learn from the experiences of life.

Patience: Instant gratification is not always possible. Gaining exposure in the early years is more important that a higher salary.

Presentation: It helps communicate, which is essential today. A lot depends on how you present yourself.

How to Quit Alcohol

Show of commitment to yourself and family
On those days that you just need a drink, you'll feel that you're letting them down. You could also spread the word around in your gang of friends, colleagues and relatives to create an extended network of supporters, as well as make yourself accepting of their approval.

Cold turkey
You suddenly think - enough! You can’t go on depending on alcohol. You decide to leave alcohol there and then!
It might be the culmination of days of thinking, or observing another alcoholic that creates an aversion to alcohol.
Cold turkey works great for weekend-drinkers and social-drinkers i.e. people who aren’t heavy alcoholics. However, this might be be fatal for people with a major dependency on alcohol. In such cases the person is advised to seek professional help.

Rehabilitation center

For the heavy drinkers, the medical supervision and aid at a rehabilitation centers may be the only safe way of quitting alcohol quickly. 

Learn to say no and make changes
Learning to say no to your friends or the boss or your girlfriend or the pushy colleague who invites you to drink might just be the bravest and the best thing you do in your mission to quitting alcohol. Don’t always be the yes-man! You might also think of making some lifestyle changes e.g. spending your weekends with your parents rather than in the club or on a romantic date with your girlfriend.

Fun ways to quit drinking
Who said quitting drinking always had to be painful?
Get into a relationship with someone intolerant of alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes.
Get broke and don’t ask for money
At parties, pour soda or other liquid in a cocktail glass and hold it in your hand and take sips from as if it's alcohol
Make a goal like running a marathon and sign up for a team in training.
Reward yourself with something really fancy like a watch or a new phone after your first dry week. Arrange a small party with your friends and parents to mark the milestone.

A long time alcoholic who suddenly stops drinking will experience physiological discomfort.
These feelings are known as withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal symptoms may vary from very light to extremely heavy, and depend on how long an individual has been abusing alcohol.

What happens to you once you quit alcohol? 
Acute withdrawal-the immediate effects: When a person who has been repetitively abusing alcohol suddenly stops, he might observe some of the following withdrawal symptoms :

• Profuse sweating
• Anxiety, irritability, tension and restlessness
• Stomach ache and loss of appetite
• Excessive Headaches
• Hallucinations
• Sleeplessness which might extend to more than 36 hours
• Feeling thirsty all the time
• Rapid heart beat  
• Excessive shaking of hands

It is important to have someone to look after you during this period to provide the mental and physical support required to overcome this painful process. Excessive drinkers should quitting alcohol only under professional supervision.
Protracted withdrawal-the long term effects: This symptom is observed after the immediate effects of withdrawal have passed. Some withdrawal symptoms can linger for at least a year after discontinuation of alcohol.
Symptoms can include

• Craving for alcohol
• Inability to feel pleasure from normally pleasurable things
• Clouding of sense organs
• Disorientation
• Nausea and vomiting or headache
• Insomnia

The ex-drinker has to understand that most incidences of relapse during this phase occur due to insomnia. So if you observe a disturbed sleep pattern over a long period of time, resort to professional help.

What can be done to make the process easier?

The process of alcohol withdrawal is an excessively painful and hence difficult one. It is particularly so if you have been a long time user and have been physically and psychologically dependent on alcohol.
Following are some things you can do to overcome withdrawal symptoms.

• Take up a routine: Joining a gym or a yoga club or just jog in the mornings, anything to take your mind off the sense of loss or the occasional craving you might feel for alcohol. You could also take up mediation.
• Talk it out: Talk to someone. Talk to anyone in your life who can give you encouragement, support or practical help, such as family or friends – the people who love you and want to help you in any way that they can. You might be surprised at how supportive they can be.  If you feel like no one understands and you have no one to talk to about this, please know that there are many other people who do understand and can help you.  Remember, you don’t have to be alone in this.
• Drink a lot of water and fruit juice: This might sound trivial, drinking a lot of water helps you recover a lot faster by detoxifying your blood stream of chemicals acquired through years of alcohol abuse. A recovering alcoholic should drink  between 4 and 5 liters of water a day.