They Fought and Won...

Amitabh Bachchan

The reigning superstar of Bollywood in the 1970s, Big B's magnificent run came to a stop when he met with a near fatal accident on the sets of the film Coolie. Though he miraculously recovered after long hospitilisation, he was not fit enough to carry on acting like in his salad days. After short stints of acting and retirement which also saw him start his own company ABCL that eventually proved a failure and led him to incur massive financial losses, Amitabh recovered lost ground after the stupendous success of the tele-show Kaun Banega Crorepati which he successfully anchored. He also resumed acting thanks to his great will power, resilience and solid support from family and friends.
Recently, Amitabh admitted that he had liver cirrhosis, a result of the Coolie accident. Apparently one of the donor blood bottles was infected with Australian antigen hepatitis. But Big B is braving the malady with a smile and in addition to blogging has started tweeting as well.

Hrithik Roshan

Not many know that the mega star has been suffering from a major stuttering problem ever since age 6 and has gone through several painful speech therapy sessions to improve his speech. He continues with speech therapy even now fearing that he may get back to stuttering and incoherent speech.

Abhishek Bachchan

Abhishek Bachchan was dyslexic when he was a child and attended a special school. The critically acclaimed film Taare Zameen Par which evolves around childhood dyslexia cites Abhishek's case of a child with dyslexia who went on to not only conquer the disorder but also became a big achiever.

Leander Paes

With a string of international championship wins, Leander Paes has put the traumatic period in 2003 when he was hospitalised for suspected cancer, behind him. Luckily for the tennis star, the diagnosis turned out to be negative and he was found to be affected by neurocysticercosis, another name for a parasitic brain infection.

Lisa Ray

A familiar face on the Indian advertisement scene ever since she appeared in a Bombay Dyeing ad with Karan Kapoor, the Canadian-born model, whose father is a Bengali and mother Polish, Lisa Ray has also acted in quite a few films notably Deepa Mehta's Oscar-nominated film Water.

In June 2009, Ray was diagnosed with multiple myeloma and had been undergoing treatment. A stem cell transplant in April this year has completely cured her of the cancer and the actress who put up a brave face all through her battle with the dreaded disease is now back in the thick of action.

Raageshwari Loomba

The multi-talented Raageshwari has been in the limelight ever since she was a child. She initially began as a model and acted in quite a few films when in college. She started getting noticed when she started VJing for the popular MTV programme BPL Oye. She followed this with a stint as a singer and recorded her own album with her brother Rishabh and also went to do a series of concerts for Coca Cola. Tragedy struck around the year 2000, when she was afflicted with Bell's palsy. She was out of action for an entire year taking time to go through various physiotherapy sessions to set right the twist on her face. After having completely recovered from Bell's Palsy, Raageshwari resumed her career and is a popular face on MTV and TEN Sports. She also works towards promoting various social causes and has even hosted a show called on BBC Quest.

Gaurav Kapoor

The ace VJ now a popular presenter was only 22 when he was diagnosed with Type I diabetes. This put a full stop to his wild partying and fun-filled life, something very hard to digest for someone as young as that. Now Gaurav is well in control of his health because of a stringent exercise regimen that includes jogging, yoga and the right diet.

Salil Ankola

The dashing all-rounder made his international cricket debut in the same match as maestro Sachin Tendulkar. Later, in spite of being in the national teams several times over, he never got to play a match which resulted in an additional term in cricket jargon called 'Ankolad'. His cricket career came to an abrupt halt when a tumour was detected on his shin around the year 1997.The affliction resulted in him having around 34 stress fractures. After his cricket career ended Ankola took to acting on the small screen and has acted in several shows like Balaji Telefilms' Karam Apna Apna and also Season 1 of Big Boss. He also acted in a couple of Bollywood films like Chura Liyaa Hai Tumne.

Lately, Ankola was in news for his alcoholism which was followed by a stint in rehab. Well-wishers says that the cricketer/actor no longer suffers from the problem he even hosted a benefit cricket match in April this year. Let us hope he continues his career as a show biz personality.

Sonali Rathod

The singer who is married to tabla player-turned singer Roop Kumar Rathod had a serious throat problem in the middle of her career and almost lost her voice. She resumed her career later and was instrumental in her husband's transformation from a tabla player to a singer. Incidentally, Sonali Rathod was first married to noted singer Anup Jalota.

Other notable personalities who took disability in their stride include Sant Surdas, the 14th century singer and composer who was born blind and endured lots of hardship after he was shunned by his family; popular Doordarshan newsreader Sheila Chaman who met with a terrible accident that led to her having around 750 stitches on her face and many plastic surgeries before she resumed her career; wheelchair-bound sportswoman Malathi Holla, a Paralympic gold medallist, former National Badminton champion Rajiv Bagga who was born deaf; and legendary Hindusthani singer Kumar Gandharva who was afflicted with lung cancer at the prime of his career and had to have the cancerous lung removed.

These are but a few of the numerous brave Indians who have battled disability and gone on to shine in their respective careers or taken up an alternative career. Hats of to these brave men and women featured here and those not featured here who live by example.

Source:http://lifestyle.in.msn.com/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=3929964

Distance in relationship is good..

A new study has suggested that relationships can get marred if spouses are too close to each other.
According to psychologists, when two people know each other too well they assume too much shared knowledge and their language becomes dangerously vague.
They believe that this "closeness communication bias" can lead to long-term misunderstandings, rows and even relationship problems.
The research by University of Chicago and Williams College in Massachusetts found that often couples and good friends communicate with each other no better than they do with strangers.
"People commonly believe that they communicate better with close friends than with strangers" .
"That closeness can lead people to overestimate how well they communicate. Your language can become so ambiguous. The brain becomes lazy.
"But it can backfire and the misunderstanding can lead to rows in the future".
In the research it is said, it was always important to bear in mind the point of view of others - no matter how close to them you are.
"Our problem in communicating with friends and spouses is that we have an illusion of insight. Getting close to someone appears to create the illusion of understanding more than actual understanding,"
The research has been published in the journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

Positive Approach

How to Be Positive:
People often wonder how to be positive in their thoughts and actions, especially when they are unhappy and unsatisfied, or when life is difficult and tough. They even find it hard to be positive when things go well. Most of them don't know how to be positive and what they need to do. Like every other subject, the know-how of how to be positive can be learned and the skill developed. It is all a matter of attitude and thinking, both of which can be changed.

If we keeping thinking the same thoughts, they will eventually tend to manifest in our world. This means that if we desire good results we have to be careful of what we think. We have to stay and think positive.

Begin by becoming aware of your thoughts, and exchanging your negative thoughts with positive ones. Substitute negativity for being positive, thoughts about poverty with thoughts about wealth, ignorance with understanding, disharmony with harmony and lack of freedom with freedom. Start saying, "I can", "I am able" and "it is possible".

It is our mind that creates the kind of life we live. If we think positively we will transform our life accordingly. Everything starts from within, from the most simple action to the greatest achievement. We cannot always have control over our external circumstances, but we can control our inner world of thoughts, where everything starts. We can't always control our outer universe, but we can, with some effort, control our inner universe.

You are unhappy and negative because of how you think, but you can change the way you think. With a little work and effort you can change how you think, and this will you automatically change your attitude, expectations, actions and reactions, which will lead to more motivation, happiness and improved life.

How to be positive:

• Focus on what you want, not on what you do not want.
• Focus your mind on the good things you already have in your life. If you focus on them, these good things will increase in your life.
• Do not fill your mind with thoughts of lack. Think and believe that you already have abundance, success, love and happiness.
• Learn to feel, think and even act, as if you are already living the life you visualize. If you can feel, think and act consistently in this way, you will become happier, and will attract new opportunities into your life.
• Think about what you want, create a picture of it in your mind, and make it very clear and precise. Hold it there and focus on it in a positive way, until it becomes a reality in your life.
• Always tell yourself, "I can", "I am able", "I can do it", "I am a positive person".
• Often, during the day, repeat positive affirmations about what you want. Do so with faith, feelings, intention and focus.
• Look for the good in every situation. There is always something good, or at least something useful to learn, even in difficult or unpleasant situations.
• Follow your positive thoughts with positive actions.
• Always focus your mind on the full half of the cup, not on the empty half.
• Do your best to reject negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.
• Be aware of your company. Choose to be around positive people.
• Read about other people's success. Read things that inspire you and make you feel good.
• Focus your mind on how to be positive and you will discover more ways to be so.

We get what we expect to get, therefore, begin right now to expect the very best of everything that this world has to offer - and wish the same for everyone else. There is plenty of everything in the Universe for everyone, and the Universe can create more of the good things for everyone. Don't think lack, think abundance, for you and for everyone.

Stress Free Career

1. Create a good space: I’ve written before about Peopleware, which goes into great detail about how to create a highly productive workplace. (For example, in Rules of thumb for writing.) New Scientist’s recommendations tally: quiet, a comfortable chair, natural light and privacy, temperate air conditioning and so on.

2. Raise your status: The higher your status, the less stress and the longer life, says the magazine. I agree. This is why I gave myself a grandiose title – “Writer in chief” and I boss myself around mercilessly.

3. Be social. Apparently sociable baboons have less stress hormones: I don’t get friendly with baboons, although I did have a cup of tea with my bank manager recently. Seriously, though, wasn’t it Freud who says that you need two things to be happy: work and love.

4. Don’t be too social: I score big here because I work in my own private office. Researchers at UC Irvine found that on average people manage to get only three minutes of sustained work between interruptions. This is far, far less than the time required to get into a flow state. On average it takes 15 minutes to achieve a communion with your work and concentrate fully on it. (I wrote an earlier post on How to concentrate on writing which covers some of this ground.)

5. Learn to switch off: This is hard for writers, especially when they’re on a deadline. I must learn to shut my study door when I finish my work for the day. And keep it shut.

6. Modern stress busting: Yoga, deep breathing and walks are good, says New Scientist, but oxygen is better (perhaps). Power napping also helps. Churchill famously slept nearly every afternoon and worked into the early hours every night. I understand that B2 bomber pilots take a deckchair along on their 20-30hour flights and take power naps regularly to keep themselves going.

I would add a few more stress busters of my own: 

1. Get a job you love: I really enjoy my writing work and I have much less stress than in my previous career. My friend Claire says that “if you do what you love, the money takes care of itself.” If you’re stressed, quit.

2. Little treats: I like tea, cookies, epic baths. I can work pretty well if I know I’m going to get a cup of tea soon. (See my post: Tools for writing: a nice cup of tea.) Philip Larkin said that if he were called in to construct a religion, he would make use of water. Me? I would use tea.

3. Exercise: I don’t like doing it but it helps me concentrate and work out my frustrations. Also, I enjoy training with other people and that is a friendly part of the day. Sometimes I take long walks and catch up on podcasts as I do it. That’s almost working!

4. Tidy up: It’s amazing how therapeutic a good tidy up can be. Apparently, Margaret Thatcher used to do housework to calm her down. I don’t have much in common with her but I like a tidy desk.

5. Write down your tasks: This is, of course, the gist of Getting Things Done. If you’ve written it down somewhere, you don’t have the stress of keeping it (and dozens of other tasks) in your brain.

6. Get a hobby:  If work is stressful but you are a type-a personality, sometimes a challenging hobby can be relaxing on the principle that a change is as good as a rest. For me, flying is oddly relaxing because I have to concentrate so hard on what I’m doing that there’s no bandwidth for anxiety or work thoughts. (See my other blog, ModernPilot.com.)

7. Meditate:  Works for me when I have the discipline to do it. The Berkeley Buddhist Monastery has a fabulous online meditation timer. There’s also a cool Mac Dashboard widget that does the same thing.

8. Count to ten:  It really works.

9. Reduce stress by not giving a shit: Sometimes (just sometimes!) give yourself permission to slack off, kick back, leave it to someone else, deal with it tomorrow. You’re a good person and you’ll do the right thing. But not yet. Sometimes problems fix themselves if you leave them alone. 

Exam Stress

If there were a barometer for measuring national stress levels, it would probably be reading “stratospheric” right now, as more than a million young people immerse themselves in examinations. For students sitting university finals, A levels and GCSEs, the next month will be full of stress, anxiety and, for those who haven't started yet, last-minute cramming.

Even if students manage to stay relatively calm, their parents may well be stressing over whether their offspring are doing sufficient work. So how can families keep the emotional temperature at manageable levels during these fraught weeks?

“Be alert to whether your child seems more withdrawn or isolated than usual and to any significant changes in behaviour,” . IA most recent survey has shown that 42 per cent of children questioned would not talk to their parents about a big personal problem. They struggle to articulate what they are feeling, so it is important that parents develop open communication lines at this difficult time.”

Parents tread a fine line, wanting to show that they care while not appearing over-anxious. Nagging, fussing and close interrogation about revision progress are less helpful than practical support. “A lot of self-discipline is needed by young people at this time and parents can help them to impose that,”. “They can help to structure a revision timetable and ensure that they have somewhere quiet to study. When kids take a break, parents can make sure this does not last too long. Young people need a good eight hours sleep. Parents have a role in seeing that they don't stay up too late and that they get up at a reasonable time in the morning.”

Practical tips on how to tackle an exam paper can give a child confidence and defuse some of their anxiety. On the other hand, a little bribery, say a few hundred pounds, may galvanise the work-shy. “Offering money as an incentive is fine as long as it is linked to effort. Make it clear that you expect your child to do their best and hand the money over before the results come out if you feel they have really tried hard. With the all the effort in the world, some children are not going to get top grades.”

Parents should help their offspring to find something constructive to do during the long summer between exams and results; a job, voluntary work or chores around the house. “It's not a good idea just to mooch,” .

And come results day in August, parents may need to manage their own expectations - and disappointments. “Remember that exams are just a gateway to the next phase in academic life and doing badly is not the end of the world. Recriminations on disappointing results are pointless,”. “University - and getting into debt - is not the only option. If your child does not get the results they hoped for, you need to focus on what they can do next. Even poor grades are not wasted; they are part of the learning experience.”

How to study: Research suggests that study is best divided into chunks of 30 to 40 minutes with a 5 or 10- minute break in between. At the end of three or four sessions, students should have half an hour off, with a longer break for lunch and dinner.

Divide each day into three units - morning, afternoon and evening - 21 a week in total, advises Sophie Corlett, the policy director at Mind, the mental health charity. “Make a list of all the topics you need to cover and estimate how long you think it will take you to revise each one. Then add on plenty of extra. Divide the topics up between the units. Always leave yourself a minimum of six units of free time per week and include some exercise in the routine. Switching between different methods of revision helps to hold your interest and absorb information better. Mix dull subjects with more interesting ones. If it's hard to get started, begin with something easy”.

Managing exam stress: With the first of three sets of SATs (standard assessment tests) coming at the end of Year 2, when children are just 7, today's pupils are likely either to be very calm or totally freaked out by the time they get to GCSEs. “It can work either way”. Some children will become very laid-back and others will be traumatised. How parents deal with the early tests is very important. If your child shows signs of stress, suggest that they try:

Exercise: Regular exercise is an excellent way of coping with stress. “As little as 10 or 20 minutes a day spent walking, cycling, or at the gym can make a big difference.” Exercise is thought to raise the level of mood-enhancing neurotransmitters in the brain, reduce muscle tension, improve sleep and decrease levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

Relaxation therapies: There is some scientific evidence to suggest that yoga, massage and meditation can help to relieve anxiety. Mind suggests the following relaxation routine. Close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply. Locate any areas of tension and try to relax those muscles; imagine the tension disappearing. Relax each part of the body, from your feet to the top of your head. As you focus on each part of your body, think of warmth, heaviness and relaxation. After 20 minutes, take some deep breaths and stretch.

Getting a good night's sleep: Students should allow time to unwind between work and bed, stopping academic work at least an hour before they turn in. Take a warm bath with a few drops of lavender oil in the water. Avoid sleeping aids - including herbs - the night before an exam unless you have tried them before, as they may leave you feeling groggy in the morning. Avoid caffeine after 6pm.

Feed your brain: Although the brain represents only 2 per cent of body weight, it accounts for about 20 per cent of resting energy expenditure. Supplying it with healthy, regular meals and snacks can improve mental performance, according to Catherine Collins, the chief dietitian at St George's Hospital, in South London.

“A large meal can make you feel tired, so have your main course and then dessert a little later,” suggests Collins. “Eat something every two to three hours. In between meals, have a variety of snacks, such as fresh fruit, small packets of dried fruit, cereal bars, a scone, a KitKat or a packet of Quavers. We need to treat ourselves during periods of stress, but it is not a good idea to snack entirely on chocolate or biscuits as you are getting calories without many nutrients. A breakfast cereal with milk provides a good snack at any time of the day.”

Drink plenty of fluids: Being mildly dehydrated can reduce blood flow to the brain, cause headaches and affect concentration. Maximise students' nutrient intake by varying drinks to include water, tea, coffee, milk, smoothies and juices. Studies suggest that caffeine improves short-term memory and speeds up reaction times, but Collins advises against over-reliance on so-called “functional drinks”. For example, in the case of Red Bull, the ingredient taurine can increase blood pressure and slow heart-rate, an undesirable effect.

Keep up iron levels: Half of all girls aged 15 to 18 are deficient in iron and even a slight deficiency in this mineral can affect memory retention. Red meat, dark green leafy vegetables and breakfast cereals are good sources of iron. For maximum absorption, do not drink tea or coffee at the same time.

On the day: In the exam room, students should make themselves comfortable and take a few deep breaths to reduce tension. Then they should turn over the exam paper and take five minutes to read all the questions twice and work out how long they are going to spend on each question or section. They should allow time to read over and check answers at the end. If they cannot decide which questions to tackle, they should go for those they can answer and return to the others later.

If they feel themselves panicking, they should put down the pen and relax, eyes closed and breathe slowly. “If it helps, put your head on the desk. “Shake your arms. Say something encouraging to yourself. Imagine yourself somewhere where you feel happy.”

Some find that sniffing an essential oil such as lavender or rosemary clears the head and helps concentration. Put a few drops on a tissue before you enter the exam room.

First romantic kiss more memorable than losing your virginity

Be it behind the bike sheds or at the school disco, you are more likely to remember your first romantic kiss with your partner than even loosing your virginity.

Scientists have claimed that most of us can recall 90 per cent of the details of the experience-a memory more vivid than losing their virginity, reports the Daily Mail..

But, the art is so complex that scientist Sheril Kirshenbaum has written a book about it.

In 'The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us', Kirshenbaum writes that men see kissing "as a means to an end" and possibly with a "view to swapping other bodily fluids later",

Women try to "extricate the significance of a relationship based on a single kiss and often that leads to miscommunication."

Men are more aggressive kissers, as they are trying to pass on a "testosterone bomb" to a lover.

However, testosterone passed on during sessions of smaller but frequent kisses stays in the body longer, and can push a woman to falling in love more quickly.

The author, a researcher at the University of Texas, measured the magnetic current in brains of men and women in response to images of people kissing.

When Relationship Hurts..

In the early stages of a relationship, it is difficult to imagine that the one you have such strong feelings for could ever hurt you. It is also hard to imagine that you could ever cause the one you love pain, especially when everything is so new. The beginning is always sweet and nice, but sooner or later something less than perfect happens, and one of you gets hurt

Have you ever heard the phrase, "you always hurt the one you love?" It's so true isn't it? You may not mean to, but at some point, you may do something, or not do something, that your significant other is hurt by. The opposite is also true. As a matter of fact, relationships sometimes end because of this fact. They don't always have to, however.

How to Handle the Pain Love Brings You

If you are in a healthy relationship, the hurt was unintentional. It is important to realize that your loved one didn't plan on causing you pain. Try to see the situation from their perspective. You should try to calm your emotions down, and then talk to them about what they were thinking, or why they did what they did, or said what they said. Be willing to see it their way. Once you hear them out, they will be more willing to hear you out. Explain how you perceived what they said or did, and why you felt hurt by it.

You might not be able to communicate this right away. You should wait until an appropriate time, when you are not clouded with emotion. This is easier said than done, but it can be at least be done. Waiting can help you avoid saying things that you don't mean because you are hurt and angry. Get it off of your chest by talking it out or writing a brief note or email. Don't just hold a grudge, because it will only hurt you more.

 What to Do When Your Loved One Feels Hurt

The most important things that you can do is listen. Showing that you care about their feelings is essential to helping them to heal quickly. You might not understand why they are hurt initially, because you didn't mean to hurt them. Make an effort to see it from their perspective, and try to help them understand your intentions better. Communicate to them that you do care about their feelings.

Apologize if you did something wrong. Make a sincere effort to acknowledge that you could have done things differently, and express plans to avoid that kind of thing in the future. Make it clear that you didn't mean to hurt them, and that you want to avoid doing it again

What Not To Do:

 If you feel hurt, don't:
-yell
-try to get revenge or make them pay
-hold a grudge
-demand an apology
-insist that you are right.

If your loved on is hurt, don't:

-disregard their feelings as silly

-say you're sorry unless you actually mean it

-pretend to understand

-insist that you are right 

Ultimately, clear and honest communicate can help heal the hurt. Be willing both to listen and to talk. If forgiveness, care, and understanding are working parts of your relationship, there won't be that much pain. You will enjoy a long lasting and healthy relationship that is true to life.